Let’s say you’ve had a really good week. Maybe your plush, green lawn is the envy of the neighborhood and for some reason, your Garden Club arch-nemesis across the street, Jones, is king of the yellow spots. Or perhaps you got your tax refund with a bonus because you got flustered and mistakenly under-reported the number of kids you actually have. Or, even better, you finally finished that Impressionist tribute you’ve been sculpting out of play-doh and peanut butter for weeks.
Whatever it is, you’re feeling pretty good about yourself. It’s time to really honor the occasion.
Leaving the office on Friday night, though, you realize that the usual beery suspects aren’t quite what you’re looking for to sip and savor while relaxing on the porch as the sun slips down. This calls for something out of the ordinary, a truly impressive beer.
So what do you do when you’re in the mood for a really special brew? Go stand before the myriad of shelves at the area’s best bottle shop? Maybe pull something out of the dark, secret, hidden-in-the-way-way-way-back stash of your cellared brews? Or how about standing in line to fight a hundred other beer geeks for whatever the current kill-someone-or-trade-your-mother-for-it limited release happens to be?
But, no, deep down, you feel it: this is a really special occasion. And really special occasions call for really special, rare brews.
Like, say, oh, I don’t know…this one?
If you happen to be of afraid of clicking random links on internet webpages (which seems odd as this is a online community and all, but who am I to judge) that link leads to an eBay auction for what’s being billed as the "World’s oldest documented bottle of ale, Allsopp’s Arctic Ale 1852".
The current bid as of the time of this writing is $1,025. The reserve price has not been met.
The "Buy It Now" price is listed as $110,000. And yes, believe it or not, that’s in US currency. Not surprisingly, this isn’t the first auction for the bottle of beer in question. Last week it was listed with a "Buy It Now" price of $155,000 and a starting bid of $89,900.
Say it with me now: one hundred ten thousand dollars.
For a bottle of beer.
I’ll let you to draw your own conclusions. To me, though, that seems like a lot of money for a beer you can’t really drink. I mean, for one thing, it’s almost certainly as effervescent at this point as your cheap-scotch-swilling, Virginia-Slims-chain-smoking Aunt Mildred. And for another, after you’ve dropped a hundred large on something, consuming/destroying it is probably not the wisest choice.
Unless, of course, your name is Montgomery Brewster and you have a month to spend $30 million dollars. In which case, give me a call. I’m pretty sure I can help you out.
Oh, and for the record, should you choose get in on the beer auction action, free shipping is included. Which is good, because after you buy a bottle of beer that costs as much as a rock-star’s tricked-out tour bus, the extra $50 bucks for priority shipping would be, you know, excessive.
So…um, anyone want to go in on it?
I’d totally throw in $20 bucks.