Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, Life tosses you a grapefruit and gives you that “swing away” wink. For instance, I was minding my own business Thursday, probably deep in contemplation over what to pick for this week’s New Brew Thursday check-in on Untappd (because, yes, I’m a sucker for badges), when this tweet scrolled through my timeline from @CincyNomerati (whom, by the way, you should be following if you’re a twitterererer):
I’ll readily admit when I first saw that, I was incredulous to say the least. Hanson? The three kids with the hair and that song guaranteed to rattle around in your head until you find a hammer to put through it? Yes, that’s right, the kids from this video.
An IPA? A beer? Surely not. That’s just…just…crazy TALK! I mean, those kids are like, 12 or something. They don’t let 12 year-olds make and release beer, do they? Don’t we have laws against that sort of thing?
Needless to say, I couldn’t click the link fast enough. Yes, this link.
What I found, as you probably just did as well, is that it turns out something like 14 years have passed since those kids put out that song. So, you know, they’re not 12 anymore. And while I’m still not sure I buy the hairstyles of the all-growed-up versions any more than I did the ones the younger versions had, apparently this making an IPA business is not, as it were, crazy talk.
Obviously, I still wasn’t prepared to be even remotely mature about the news. Let’s face it, unless I have to perform some “Dad” duty, odds are good I’m likely to be found acting like a 13 year-old myself. So I spent the next hour idly thinking of witty ways to put down “MMMHop”.
My favorite was joking that the beer would probably end up a lot like the song itself: simple, unpleasantly sweet, and with a taste that’s impossible to get of your mouth.
See? I’m such an adult.
Not surprisingly, I wasn’t the only one thinking this news would make good blog fodder. Jim, the beer half (I think?) of the Beer and Whiskey Bros, “decided to keep an open mind” in his post on the subject. And sure, why not give the kids a chance. At least it’s an IPA, not some pink fizzy beer intended for Hanson’s 20-something screaming-girl fans*.
And really, let’s be honest. The reason that guys like me smirk and snark when guys like that do anything is at least partially out of envy. Sure, I wouldn’t be caught dead with my hair longer than two inches, but I don’t recall ever selling a million of anything I made. Heck, I’ve got a book not even ready yet for publishers’ eyes and I’m still a few decades away from getting a million hits on my own blog. And, hey, who wouldn’t want a screaming crowd of 20-something girls chasing after them?
Well, I mean, I wouldn’t, obviously – I’ve got the Puddinette**, and she’s the only screaming fan I need. But there are probably plenty of other people out there without the luxury of a Puddinette wondering how they get their own load of screaming fans.
All that aside though, Hanson or not, I’m not sure I buy what they’re selling. In fact, I don’t think I’d buy it no matter what famous singer was the subject of the article.
Why not? Because they didn’t talk about the beer. They talked about a brand, sure, and merchandise, of course – board games and record players, etc. But at no point did they discuss anything I’d consider important when developing a beer. No mention of malt or hops. Nothing about a brewer they’ve been working with or a quick mention of home brewing, which I’d think might be important to such a process.
Nope, they just said they wanted plenty of stuff to offer as part of their “brand” for their fans. A beer is apparently included as part of that stuff.
If you ask me, that’s marketing, not craft brewing. And I’m pretty sure we all have a good idea what kind of beer you get when the marketing comes before the brewing.
In fact, I posted about just that type of beer yesterday.
Of course, it is possible the Hanson boys are crazy homebrew fiends, and the journalist who posted that article just cut all that out in the interest of word count. After all, not everyone has the luxury of rambling on for 1000 words like I do. So, I’m going to reserve final judgment on MMMHop until it hits the market.
So, yeah, when and if they release it, I’ll give it a try. Once.
I just pray it doesn’t stick with me three days later.
*This is an awful, judgmental assumption on my part. But honestly, I don’t know who Hanson’s modern fans might be.
**Love you, sweetheart!