AB-InBev Announces Dogfish Head Collaboration

AB-InBev announced today that its St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch division would brew a collaborative beer with Delaware-based Dogfish Head Brewing. Based on Dogfish Head’s 60, 90 and 120 Minute IPAs, the new beer is to be called Bud Light 30-Second IPA.

“After years of brewing ‘off-centered beers for off-centered people'”, said AB-InBev spokesperson Anton Spargewater, “Bud Light is happy to help Dogfish Head brew its first ever all-centered and middle-of-the-road beer made especially for people who follow the herd.”

Spargewater says that AB-InBev developed a new brewing technology to make the beer. “Our normal brewing process involves showing a bag of hops to someone who will turn a valve to fill the brew kettle,” he says. “We found that for a beer this complex we needed to actually let the hops touch the wort. Luckily, we were cleaning out a storage room and came across a commemorative Budweiser tea infuser from the old Busch Gardens gift shop. It works great as long as we don’t fill it too full.”

Asked how the collaboration came about, Spargewater said it was another innovation by the multinational conglomerate. “Every time we call a small brewery about doing this, they either hang up on us or start talking about our Super Bowl commercial. After a while we just gave up,” he said. “We spill more beer in a day than most of these guys make in a year, so we just hired a few more gross of lawyers to handle the lawsuits and decided to do the collaboration without the knowledge or participation of the other brewery. It’s really a win-win for us.”

Asked to describe the flavor profile of the beer, Spargewater declined comment. “I never touch the stuff,” he said.

Reached for comment, Dogfish Head owner Sam Calagione said, “What? Who is this? Are you drunk? Did [Stone Brewing’s] Greg [Koch] put you up to this”

9 Replies to “AB-InBev Announces Dogfish Head Collaboration”

  1. Well, that does it right there. I’m never drinking Dogfish Head again. It’s the most blatant sell-out I’ve ever seen. Associating a great brewery with bud light? Pathetic.

  2. I’ve got SUCKER written all over me this morning! That’s what I get for not reading thoroughly.

    Very nice April Fools Joke.

  3. That Anton is always on the cutting edge of creative…what’s the word….litigious marketing. Maybe next year we”ll get a Mich Ultra stout lite, using food coloring instead of all that pesky Crystal malt.

  4. I have been waiting for announcement of this collaboration for years now on this date. Congratulations!

  5. Normally I find these sorts of things annoying but this one had me laughing out loud. Nice one Hoperatives. Well done.

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